About Me

  • Writer
  • Father of 3
  • Poet
  • Fun
  • Patron of Reading
  • Storyteller
  • Highly respected in schools
  • Professional

The life and times of Conrad


Chapter 1

Back in 1976 when summers were still dry and hot (I know it’s hard to believe – but they were!) I entered the world alongside my identical twin brother early one Saturday morning in a West Yorkshire hospital.

At the age of three I tried to sell our younger brother to the postman (I failed). At the age of four I left home in a bid for freedom on my favourite toy – a plastic, four wheeled, yellow petrol wagon (failed again – I got as far as my local nursery before the police kindly returned me to my frantic mum).

Since then things have calmed down a bit, but what has not calmed down is my passion for stories and writing. As a primary school pupil I wrote stories all the time. High school slightly blunted my enthusiasm, but by the time I’d fled England to go to University in South Africa (this time, a successful bid for freedom!) I was writing wacky poems for friends’ birthdays, special events, and any time I could find an excuse to make up something daft.

After gaining an honours degree in English literature I returned back to Yorkshire and completed an MA in Creative Writing.

 

 

 

Using that as a springboard, I began to work in schools all across the country inspiring children to write. Sharing my stories and poems with children, and inspiring them to believe that they, too, can become writers, is what I do best. It is something that I have been doing for over a decade and something that I believe I will continue to do for the rest of my days.

I have had many and varied jobs – I have sold cameras, measured coal miners for boiler suits, counselled people in nightclubs, and been fired as a silver service waiter for sweating into the mixed veg! I have now found the job that I believe I was made for. I have visited over 200 primary schools, the vast majority of which have invited me back for repeat visits.  I love what I do and so, it seems, do they.

When I look back at the people who have influenced my love of books and writing, I think of people like Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, and my wonderful Year 4 teacher, Mrs Johnson. It is my hope that I can have a similar influence on the children that I meet, inspiring them to believe that they, too, can write creatively. I have written four books of children’s poetry, a picture book, and many short stories which I frequently use in my school workshops.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not fifty, I do not have a beard, and my name is not Colin. I can, however, confirm that I am tall, I do have a big, booming laugh, and I love cricket and lego almost as much as I love books.

About Conrad

Back in 1976 when summers were still dry and hot (I know it’s hard to believe – but they were!) I entered the world alongside my identical twin brother early one Saturday morning in a West Yorkshire hospital.

At the age of three I tried to sell our younger brother to the postman (I failed). At the age of four I left home in a bid for freedom on my favourite toy – a plastic, four wheeled, yellow petrol wagon (failed again – I got as far as my local nursery before the police kindly returned me to my frantic mum).

Since then things have calmed down a bit, but what has not calmed down is my passion for stories and writing. As a primary school pupil I wrote stories all the time. High school slightly blunted my enthusiasm, but by the time I’d fled England to go to University in South Africa (this time, a successful bid for freedom!) I was writing wacky poems for friends’ birthdays, special events, and any time I could find an excuse to make up something daft.

After gaining an honours degree in English literature I returned back to Yorkshire and completed an MA in Creative Writing.

 

 

 

Using that as a springboard, I began to work in schools all across the country inspiring children to write. Sharing my stories and poems with children, and inspiring them to believe that they, too, can become writers, is what I do best. It is something that I have been doing for over a decade and something that I believe I will continue to do for the rest of my days.

I have had many and varied jobs – I have sold cameras, measured coal miners for boiler suits, counselled people in nightclubs, and been fired as a silver service waiter for sweating into the mixed veg! I have now found the job that I believe I was made for. I have visited over 200 primary schools, the vast majority of which have invited me back for repeat visits.  I love what I do and so, it seems, do they.

When I look back at the people who have influenced my love of books and writing, I think of people like Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, and my wonderful Year 4 teacher, Mrs Johnson. It is my hope that I can have a similar influence on the children that I meet, inspiring them to believe that they, too, can write creatively. I have written four books of children’s poetry, a picture book, and many short stories which I frequently use in my school workshops.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not fifty, I do not have a beard, and my name is not Colin. I can, however, confirm that I am tall, I do have a big, booming laugh, and I love cricket and lego almost as much as I love books.

What makes me different?

    • Fun and engaging
    • Over 10 years’ experience
    • DBS certified
    • Nursery – Year 6
    • Poet, Storyteller and Writer
    • Teacher trainer
    • Visited over 200 schools

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It's windy and 'orrible out there. Only one thing for it - time for your dressing gown!

Enjoy 😀
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I'm becoming the Patron of Reading at LOTS of schools recently, and I'm loving it! Consequently, I've written a new poem about books. Here it is.

Oh, and if you're wondering what the sound is in the background, that's our puppy Pebbles chewing on a toy car!!!
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In the last half hour two, of my friends have posted about their worries and anger at their (young) children having pressure of work from school - both in the form of homework and also practise Sats.

It's made me think: how much good does all this do? Our school's headteacher pretty much put an end to homework last year and it's made things SO much better for our whole family.

Instead, the children are given a big list of projects at the start of a topic and they can choose what they like the look of and which ones to do over the course of a half term or term.

It's brilliant! Last year Violet did two PowerPoint presentations off her own back. Mabel created an amazing scented garden from a box. She still has it. I saw it her bedroom tonight!

And yet...

One of my friends writes...

'So sick of homework!
My daughter has:

*Spellings (some stupid ones)
*not one but TWO reading books
*a double sided comprehension sheet
*10 words to learn
*maths and literacy sheets! Every week!

Is it just me l?!!!'🤢'

Is it just her?

I'm willing to bet that it's not!
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My contract for my latest book has arrived!!! And it's got a proper wax seal and everything! Working title of my book...

'Never Give Bread To a Duck.'

Very exciting!
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High Bank Hi Jinks!

I was back at one of my favourite schools today - High Bank in Liversedge. It was them, remember, for whom we collected all those books earlier in the year. I just LOVE this school. I was reminded once again...