About Me

  • Writer
  • Father of 3
  • Poet
  • Fun
  • Patron of Reading
  • Storyteller
  • Highly respected in schools
  • Professional

The life and times of Conrad


Chapter 1

Back in 1976 when summers were still dry and hot (I know it’s hard to believe – but they were!) I entered the world alongside my identical twin brother early one Saturday morning in a West Yorkshire hospital.

At the age of three I tried to sell our younger brother to the postman (I failed). At the age of four I left home in a bid for freedom on my favourite toy – a plastic, four wheeled, yellow petrol wagon (failed again – I got as far as my local nursery before the police kindly returned me to my frantic mum).

Since then things have calmed down a bit, but what has not calmed down is my passion for stories and writing. As a primary school pupil I wrote stories all the time. High school slightly blunted my enthusiasm, but by the time I’d fled England to go to University in South Africa (this time, a successful bid for freedom!) I was writing wacky poems for friends’ birthdays, special events, and any time I could find an excuse to make up something daft.

After gaining an honours degree in English literature I returned back to Yorkshire and completed an MA in Creative Writing.

 

 

 

Using that as a springboard, I began to work in schools all across the country inspiring children to write. Sharing my stories and poems with children, and inspiring them to believe that they, too, can become writers, is what I do best. It is something that I have been doing for over a decade and something that I believe I will continue to do for the rest of my days.

I have had many and varied jobs – I have sold cameras, measured coal miners for boiler suits, counselled people in nightclubs, and been fired as a silver service waiter for sweating into the mixed veg! I have now found the job that I believe I was made for. I have visited over 200 primary schools, the vast majority of which have invited me back for repeat visits.  I love what I do and so, it seems, do they.

When I look back at the people who have influenced my love of books and writing, I think of people like Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, and my wonderful Year 4 teacher, Mrs Johnson. It is my hope that I can have a similar influence on the children that I meet, inspiring them to believe that they, too, can write creatively. I have written four books of children’s poetry, a picture book, and many short stories which I frequently use in my school workshops.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not fifty, I do not have a beard, and my name is not Colin. I can, however, confirm that I am tall, I do have a big, booming laugh, and I love cricket and lego almost as much as I love books.

About Conrad

Back in 1976 when summers were still dry and hot (I know it’s hard to believe – but they were!) I entered the world alongside my identical twin brother early one Saturday morning in a West Yorkshire hospital.

At the age of three I tried to sell our younger brother to the postman (I failed). At the age of four I left home in a bid for freedom on my favourite toy – a plastic, four wheeled, yellow petrol wagon (failed again – I got as far as my local nursery before the police kindly returned me to my frantic mum).

Since then things have calmed down a bit, but what has not calmed down is my passion for stories and writing. As a primary school pupil I wrote stories all the time. High school slightly blunted my enthusiasm, but by the time I’d fled England to go to University in South Africa (this time, a successful bid for freedom!) I was writing wacky poems for friends’ birthdays, special events, and any time I could find an excuse to make up something daft.

After gaining an honours degree in English literature I returned back to Yorkshire and completed an MA in Creative Writing.

 

 

 

Using that as a springboard, I began to work in schools all across the country inspiring children to write. Sharing my stories and poems with children, and inspiring them to believe that they, too, can become writers, is what I do best. It is something that I have been doing for over a decade and something that I believe I will continue to do for the rest of my days.

I have had many and varied jobs – I have sold cameras, measured coal miners for boiler suits, counselled people in nightclubs, and been fired as a silver service waiter for sweating into the mixed veg! I have now found the job that I believe I was made for. I have visited over 200 primary schools, the vast majority of which have invited me back for repeat visits.  I love what I do and so, it seems, do they.

When I look back at the people who have influenced my love of books and writing, I think of people like Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, and my wonderful Year 4 teacher, Mrs Johnson. It is my hope that I can have a similar influence on the children that I meet, inspiring them to believe that they, too, can write creatively. I have written four books of children’s poetry, a picture book, and many short stories which I frequently use in my school workshops.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not fifty, I do not have a beard, and my name is not Colin. I can, however, confirm that I am tall, I do have a big, booming laugh, and I love cricket and lego almost as much as I love books.

What makes me different?

    • Fun and engaging
    • Over 10 years’ experience
    • DBS certified
    • Nursery – Year 6
    • Poet, Storyteller and Writer
    • Teacher trainer
    • Visited over 200 schools

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Today I will be joining 1000 children and adults from 23 local schools to remember and celebrate the life of Jo Cox. I'm honoured to be a part of this wonderful day. It's going to be colourful, exciting and, I imagine, quite emotional. #moreincommon ... See MoreSee Less

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Today I learned that the London Eye is 135 metres tall. But far better than that - I learned how to make a pencil crayon tower! Class 3's is far superior, but I'm hampered by my rounded pencil crayons. Is it acceptable to go and buy hundreds of flat edged pencil crayons for the sole purpose of building a taller tower?

We also wrote a poem about it.
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Went here today. Was astounded at the obvious error. Turns out it really is called Hatfeild Hall.

What the chuff?!? It's making me twitch...
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A teacher friend of mine gave a copy of one of my poetry books (The Baked Bean Queen) to her niece a while ago. She received this thank you note recently. How lovely! ... See MoreSee Less

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Hello there!

Hi there everyone - Happy 2017! I'm FINALLY getting web-savvy and posting my first blog post on my BRAND NEW website. I hope that you like the new site - I'm delighted with it. I'd love to hear any comments...