About Me

  • Writer
  • Father of 3
  • Poet
  • Fun
  • Patron of Reading
  • Storyteller
  • Highly respected in schools
  • Professional

The life and times of Conrad


Chapter 1

Back in 1976 when summers were still dry and hot (I know it’s hard to believe – but they were!) I entered the world alongside my identical twin brother early one Saturday morning in a West Yorkshire hospital.

At the age of three I tried to sell our younger brother to the postman (I failed). At the age of four I left home in a bid for freedom on my favourite toy – a plastic, four wheeled, yellow petrol wagon (failed again – I got as far as my local nursery before the police kindly returned me to my frantic mum).

Since then things have calmed down a bit, but what has not calmed down is my passion for stories and writing. As a primary school pupil I wrote stories all the time. High school slightly blunted my enthusiasm, but by the time I’d fled England to go to University in South Africa (this time, a successful bid for freedom!) I was writing wacky poems for friends’ birthdays, special events, and any time I could find an excuse to make up something daft.

After gaining an honours degree in English literature I returned back to Yorkshire and completed an MA in Creative Writing.

 

 

 

Using that as a springboard, I began to work in schools all across the country inspiring children to write. Sharing my stories and poems with children, and inspiring them to believe that they, too, can become writers, is what I do best. It is something that I have been doing for over a decade and something that I believe I will continue to do for the rest of my days.

I have had many and varied jobs – I have sold cameras, measured coal miners for boiler suits, counselled people in nightclubs, and been fired as a silver service waiter for sweating into the mixed veg! I have now found the job that I believe I was made for. I have visited over 200 primary schools, the vast majority of which have invited me back for repeat visits.  I love what I do and so, it seems, do they.

When I look back at the people who have influenced my love of books and writing, I think of people like Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, and my wonderful Year 4 teacher, Mrs Johnson. It is my hope that I can have a similar influence on the children that I meet, inspiring them to believe that they, too, can write creatively. I have written four books of children’s poetry, a picture book, and many short stories which I frequently use in my school workshops.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not fifty, I do not have a beard, and my name is not Colin. I can, however, confirm that I am tall, I do have a big, booming laugh, and I love cricket and lego almost as much as I love books.

About Conrad

Back in 1976 when summers were still dry and hot (I know it’s hard to believe – but they were!) I entered the world alongside my identical twin brother early one Saturday morning in a West Yorkshire hospital.

At the age of three I tried to sell our younger brother to the postman (I failed). At the age of four I left home in a bid for freedom on my favourite toy – a plastic, four wheeled, yellow petrol wagon (failed again – I got as far as my local nursery before the police kindly returned me to my frantic mum).

Since then things have calmed down a bit, but what has not calmed down is my passion for stories and writing. As a primary school pupil I wrote stories all the time. High school slightly blunted my enthusiasm, but by the time I’d fled England to go to University in South Africa (this time, a successful bid for freedom!) I was writing wacky poems for friends’ birthdays, special events, and any time I could find an excuse to make up something daft.

After gaining an honours degree in English literature I returned back to Yorkshire and completed an MA in Creative Writing.

 

 

 

Using that as a springboard, I began to work in schools all across the country inspiring children to write. Sharing my stories and poems with children, and inspiring them to believe that they, too, can become writers, is what I do best. It is something that I have been doing for over a decade and something that I believe I will continue to do for the rest of my days.

I have had many and varied jobs – I have sold cameras, measured coal miners for boiler suits, counselled people in nightclubs, and been fired as a silver service waiter for sweating into the mixed veg! I have now found the job that I believe I was made for. I have visited over 200 primary schools, the vast majority of which have invited me back for repeat visits.  I love what I do and so, it seems, do they.

When I look back at the people who have influenced my love of books and writing, I think of people like Roald Dahl, Enid Blyton, and my wonderful Year 4 teacher, Mrs Johnson. It is my hope that I can have a similar influence on the children that I meet, inspiring them to believe that they, too, can write creatively. I have written four books of children’s poetry, a picture book, and many short stories which I frequently use in my school workshops.

Contrary to popular belief, I am not fifty, I do not have a beard, and my name is not Colin. I can, however, confirm that I am tall, I do have a big, booming laugh, and I love cricket and lego almost as much as I love books.

What makes me different?

    • Fun and engaging
    • Over 10 years’ experience
    • DBS certified
    • Nursery – Year 6
    • Poet, Storyteller and Writer
    • Teacher trainer
    • Visited over 200 schools

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I’ve just delivered books to an estate near our house. For a cricket lover like me, it was quite a find! ... See MoreSee Less

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Final panto tickets update.

4 left Monday 27th
12 left Thursday 30th

That is all
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*Final Panto Announcement*

If you’ve ordered tickets from me, please let me know when / where I can get them to you and I’ll let you know how you can pay. I’m happy to deliver the local ones or post out tickets to those further afield.

If you would still like tickets there are still some left for Monday / Tuesday / Thursday night. I think a few left for Friday / Saturday night too.

Come along - it’s a great way to get into the Christmas spirit, and a lot of fun. Plus, there’s ice cream!
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The BFG visited Violet and Mabel’s school today. His planned visit was announced yesterday. Violet quickly worked out who it would be, but Mabel didn’t.

“How will he fit in our school, daddy?” she asked, as Violet winked knowingly in my direction. Violet was SO excited last night to be in on the secret.

“You’ve got the best job ever,” she squealed this morning.

And you know what? On days like these I really have. The look of pure joy on Mabel’s face whilst I was clowning around in assembly was something that I’ll never forget.

I like being the BFG - he’s friendly and funny and kind, and, rather usefully, his brain is all scrambled - just like mine.

This may be the last chance I ever get to work with any of my girls in school, and if it turns out to be that way, then what a fine way to bow out.

They were SO excited and SO proud.

Just like their dad.

*Just before this photo was taken, the BFG said: “I is thinking you girls must be having a very nice dad.” They nodded furiously. I noticed the BFG smiled bigger than ever. And was that a hint of a tear in his eye...?!*
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High Bank Hi Jinks!

I was back at one of my favourite schools today - High Bank in Liversedge. It was them, remember, for whom we collected all those books earlier in the year. I just LOVE this school. I was reminded once again...