The Baked Bean Queen

Baked Bean Queen

£5.99

Reading this book could be hazardous to your child’s health. Raucous laughter and huge gasps for air have been widely reported whenever children come into contact with Conrad’s poems.

Product Description

What would happen if the Queen ate too many baked beans?
If your teacher got locked in the loo, would you let them out?
Why are some dinner ladies so horrible?
And why do children love talking about wee and poo so much?
These are just some of the questions that Conrad ponders in The Baked Bean Queen, his third collection of humorous poems for children. If his first two books are anything to go by – PARENTS BEWARE! Reading this book could be hazardous to your child’s health. Raucous laughter and huge gasps for air have been widely reported whenever children come into contact with Conrad’s poems.

3 reviews for Baked Bean Queen

  1. :

    ‘I’ve never heard something so funny in my life. They make me always giggle’ – Kyra aged 6

  2. :

    ‘10 out of 10! Hilarious!’ – Joshua aged 10

  3. :

    ‘It had me in complete stitches. The books are great! I laughed so much I cried’ – Natasha aged 9

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What makes me different?

    • Fun and engaging
    • Over 10 years’ experience
    • DBS certified
    • Nursery – Year 6
    • Poet, Storyteller and Writer
    • Teacher trainer
    • Visited over 200 schools

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It's windy and 'orrible out there. Only one thing for it - time for your dressing gown!

Enjoy 😀
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I'm becoming the Patron of Reading at LOTS of schools recently, and I'm loving it! Consequently, I've written a new poem about books. Here it is.

Oh, and if you're wondering what the sound is in the background, that's our puppy Pebbles chewing on a toy car!!!
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In the last half hour two, of my friends have posted about their worries and anger at their (young) children having pressure of work from school - both in the form of homework and also practise Sats.

It's made me think: how much good does all this do? Our school's headteacher pretty much put an end to homework last year and it's made things SO much better for our whole family.

Instead, the children are given a big list of projects at the start of a topic and they can choose what they like the look of and which ones to do over the course of a half term or term.

It's brilliant! Last year Violet did two PowerPoint presentations off her own back. Mabel created an amazing scented garden from a box. She still has it. I saw it her bedroom tonight!

And yet...

One of my friends writes...

'So sick of homework!
My daughter has:

*Spellings (some stupid ones)
*not one but TWO reading books
*a double sided comprehension sheet
*10 words to learn
*maths and literacy sheets! Every week!

Is it just me l?!!!'🤢'

Is it just her?

I'm willing to bet that it's not!
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My contract for my latest book has arrived!!! And it's got a proper wax seal and everything! Working title of my book...

'Never Give Bread To a Duck.'

Very exciting!
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I was back at one of my favourite schools today - High Bank in Liversedge. It was them, remember, for whom we collected all those books earlier in the year. I just LOVE this school. I was reminded once again...